What’s up with American Idol. It’s like the third world power or something. I was talking to my DaRRyL this morning and he confirmed that, not only is Idol a three day a week gig, but the producers are dragging their feet with producing the final 15, 12, or 10 JUST to keep the show running—and they know America’s watching!
I use to be a dire Idol fan. I was of the days when Fantasia sang Summertime. I was at my parent’s house on the phone with Keith staring into the TV. My world use to shut down and cut off during the hours of Idol, and though I’ve grown past that, seeing that I’m at work during Idol time now, I’m pretty positive a large weight of the country still slows up to watch—but for three days? That’s insane!
I get this image of little children growing fat on the carpet in front of the television, sitting Indian-style or lying sideways propped up by an elbow. They're immobilized and don't blink, as not to miss a moment of Ryan Seacrest and his hair. The sun rises on ‘em and the sun sets on ‘em… and just as they swell into plush little balls of pork, stretching out their uniforms until the P in their Polo shirts pop off, America announces the winner. Interesting.
I wonder how many children don’t get conceived because of this three day blackout. I wonder in a few years will scientist ever classify this a phenomenon; I wonder will this ever escalate into talk-show topics: Husbands leaving wives who watch too much Idol and vice versa; newspaper headlines: America the 3 day Zombie. I can’t figure out the scheme of the show but AI is earnestly milking America, and just like little gluttons we gobble up the crumbs.
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